New CDC Study: Young Men Have Highest Rate of HIV Infections :: EDGE on the Net

New CDC Study: Young Men Have Highest Rate of HIV Infections :: EDGE on the Net

     I wish I could begin to describe the awful feeling in my stomach I felt when I read this article. I was raised by my uncle who developed full blown AIDS when I was about 4. Having spent most of my life around the HIV+ and AIDS Community, I’ve seen first hand the casualties of this pandemic.  I remember one particularly long and rather difficult conversation with a friend about living in San Francisco during the outbreak of HIV in the 80’s. He wasn’t a drug user. He wasn’t highly promiscuous and had a committed boyfriend. He worked a steady job. I asked him one particular question to which the answer rings vividly in my mind. I said to him, “You clearly were not the standard image of San Francisco in the 80’s… did you ever think your actions put you at risk?” His answer was simple, “HIV doesn’t infect a standard image, it infects anyone. Nobody could have forseen it. We didn’t know any better.” 

“We didnt know any better”…

When I read headlines like this, it’s cuts through me like a thousand knives. This is 2009. We do know better. I hoped I would never have to see the day that one of my peers would come to me and say “I tested positive.” I was crushed when this hope was lost back in December. I called to check in on a friend who had posted some concerning messages on Facebook. He informed me that he had tested positive 2 day earlier. I was just devastated for him. At 22 years old, he has so much ahead and so many great opportunities but the idea that he will have to endure the struggles that come with being a HIV+ gay male in our world of today, well it just tears me up inside. 

I had a similar event a while back that filled me with fear like I had never experienced. I received a message from a friend and  former partner that he had tested positive after we were together although he had tested negative beforehand. I was paralyzed by a really inexplicable fear when he told me. I took me almost 2 weeks and the help and support of a good friend and HIV educator to go and get tested, despite knowing I needed to be tested. Despite all I knew about  HIV and knowing that there was a slim chance I had been infected, I was petrified and could not even begin to wrap my mind around it. I went and was tested. I tested negative. It was the worst feeling ever. I thought I would be thrilled when i heard those words, but all I felt was an overwhelming urge to vomit and then cry. 

Despite all that we know and all the progress we have made regarding HIV research and treatment, it continues to plague the world. All across the world, people continue to spread and acquire the virus. Unfortunately, as this article discusses, there is so very much that we still need to do. 

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